Is Compatibility important in a relationship?

Compatibility is defined as “capable of existing or living together in harmony” in the dictionary. Believe or not, compatibility is one of the major reasons why couples stay together for a long time or separate. Compatibility test has been used in traditional matchmaking and is currently widely used as a tool to finding love in online dating service.

I do believe that compatibility is important in a relationship. Being compatible means sharing the same values and attitudes of life. For example, you loved to have kids but would you be with someone who disliked children? Other compatible issues includes attitude to work, attitudes to families and attitudes to sharing.

Traditionally in many countries, compatibility testing were carried out by parents looking for the right spouse for their children. The compatibility testing then would be based on the compatibility of the both family social class, wealth and educational level. Though it may seems shallow and unrealistic, it was the core of most families in the past.

In the online dating scene, the online dating service will usually matched you to people based on your compatibility test questions.

So what is compatibility testing?

1. There are many types of compatibility test. One common test is astrology compatibility test.

Here, compatibility of two persons is derived from the astrological make up of the two individuals. It predicts how two people will get along in various aspects of their lives such as financial, home and sex.

2. Other types of compatibility tests are based on a list of questions. This question usually refers to attitudes, lifestyle and beliefs. Some of the common questions cover are:

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  Educational qualification
  Occupation
  Income compatibility
  Class compatibility in some society
  Attitude towards children
  Attitude towards parents
  Attitude towards the opposite sex
  Attitude towards family
  Attitude towards religion
  Their religious belief, sexual beliefs and political viewpoints.
  Attitude on romance

3. Compatibility tests test allows you to learn more about yourself. The compatibility test questions could help bring light on what your thoughts are about certain things.

4. Compatibility test is the first step in finding love. Compatibility test reduced time taken to find the right person as it helps to filter the incompatible ones.

5. Compatibility test can also help reduce potential heartbreak.

6. When you find someone who is compatible, conversation usually flows easily.

Compatibility test is not the only solution to finding love online, honesty to yourself and others is also important for a lasting love relationship.


In Michael Webb, 1000 questions for couples, he address that the possibilities of couple spilting up is sometimes due to not finding more about each other before they walk down the aisle. Perhaps it hadn't occur to them to ask big questions that could enable them to understand the each other better.

In 1000 questions for couples, the author put together 1,000 of the most important questions couples should ask each other. These are questions that go beyond small talk and simply making conversation like you will find in most "questions" books. You will NOT find questions like "if you were a color, what color would you be" or "what is your most embarrassing moment".

There are hundreds of fun "getting to know you" questions but there are also important questions that most people don't even think of asking but are absolutely necessary if you want to have a happy relationship.

You can find out more about the essential questions to lasting relationship in 1000 questions for couples

The Secret of Successful Marriages

You thought you know your partner and you discover after a period of time that you do not. You become disappointed, suspicious and you wonder why hadn’t you find out more before you walk down the aisle.

Many people get married with the idea that their undying love for each other will keep them together forever. Marriages failed because couples did not find out more about each other before they got married. When couple discover each other faults or hidden secrets, suspicion and distrust surfaced.

There are many reasons why a person didn’t say more about themselves. It could be something they have done years ago and do not think it is important to tell. It could also be their attitude towards certain subjects like pets, health and emotions which did not surface during the dating period.

You could have an aching question about attachment to family which you feel might offend if you were to ask. You might even feel that it is not politically correct to ask certain question.

Take time to understand each other. Create an environment where both of you feel free to ask questions about each other. Make it like a game to know each other better. Ask questions like personal views, attitudes towards health, well being, and child rearing, past relationships, morals, convictions and beliefs. Asking questions need not be serious all the time, inject fun questions like favourite holiday destination, cars and driving, food, pets and favourite things.

When couple asked questions about each other, it creates an atmosphere of trust and openness. When couple understand each other, there is acceptance in the relationship and this is definitely the antidote for a lasting and loving marriage.

There is a book called 1000 questions for couples which consists of a comprehensive collection of questions that couples can used to ask each other. The ebook is not only useful for couples planning to tie the knot, married couples will find that it open doors to new understanding of each other.