10 Top tips on how to survive Christmas on your own

Do you look forward to Christmas? Some people feel sad during Christmas for many reasons. They could have just lost a loved one, living far away from family and friends, recently single and divorced.

I found this interesting article on how to survive Christmas on your own and there are some really good tips that could make your Christmas enjoyable and meaningful. Enjoy!

Alone at Christmas? - 10 Tips to Survive (And Even Enjoy) Being on Your Own at Christmas
By Janice Robertson

This post is written for anybody who may not be looking forward to spending Christmas on their own.

I have spent several Christmas's on my own. The first time, I was not really looking forward to it. I was single, I'd just moved into my own flat and I had no close family to spend Christmas with. After the initial, realisation and sadness that I really was going to be on my own, I decided that I was going to get through the day and have as good a time as I could. I ended up having a really good day and choose to spend Christmas on my own for several years afterwards until I got married.

I think learning to be on my own at Christmas has actually made me more resourceful and self-reliant.

If you really don't want to spend Christmas day on your own then you have several alternatives. You could go on holiday where there are lots of other single people. I spent one Christmas as a single person on a tiny island designed for backpackers and travellers off the coast of Fiji. I woke up at 5am on a wonderfully warm and sunny Christmas day, wandered down to the beach, sat on the sand and dipped my toes in the water. It was great fun, very beautiful and very spiritual. There were back-packers there aged from 17 to 70!

Or you could spend the day as a volunteer perhaps working with the homeless or with animals in shelters. Giving of your time and your energy can be very satisfying.

I think there is so much pressure and expectation to have a fun and jolly Christmas surrounded by a loving family that if you are on your own you can feel lonely and at odds with everyone else.

So, here are my tips to survive (and dare I say even enjoy) Christmas on your own:

1. De-clutter and clean up

Start now to have a good clean up and de-clutter. De-cluttering tends to have a therapeutic effect and makes you feel good. Getting into action also tends to help you to lift your mood.

2. Plan Your Christmas meals

Plan what you are going to eat and drink over the festive season, including breakfasts. If you will be spending Christmas Eve at home don't forget to have something nice for that as well. If you don't feel like cooking then you can always get ready meals. On my Christmas Day, I would have a lovely breakfast. Then I had a glass (or two) of Champagne while I cooked my dinner. You don't have to cook traditional Christmas Food. This is your day, you can have whatever you want. If you are drinking alcohol though, please remember to eat something even if it's just snacks so that you don't just get drunk and morbid.

3. Buy Yourself A Present or Two!

Treat yourself to a present or two and wrap it up so you have something to open on Christmas Day. I always used to buy myself some cosy socks and new lingerie.

4. Plan what You Are Going To Do

Plan what you are going to do - watch TV, listen to music, play dvd's or playstation games, or you can go online to chat with others on different forums, facebook or twitter. Or curl up with a good book. Do not watch sad films or listen to sad music! Find something to make you laugh.

5. Start the day off well

Open the blinds to let the light in. If it's mild enough then open a window even just for a short time to freshen the room. Have a lovely bubble bath or shower, wear aftershave or perfume, makeup, and get dressed. I have spent the day in my jammies however I always have a lovely bubble bath beforehand, and do my hair and make-up before putting on my cosy socks.

6. Dance Like No One Is Watching!

Put on some up-beat music and dance like no-one is watching. Okay if you don't like dancing then how about going out for a short walk? It will lift your mood and bring a rosy glow to your cheeks.

7. Don't Assume Everyone Else Is Having A Better Time

It would be great if we all came from loving families who got on well with each other. The truth is for a lot of people being thrown together with people who at any other time of the year you wouldn't normally hang out with can be very stressful. If your mind starts to wander off in this direction then make a list of everything good about being on your own from having control of the tv remote to eating what you want. You might well be having the best time of all!

I remember the first time I spent Christmas on my own I did feel a wave of sadness that I was on my own and I had a little cry. I found that I felt better afterwards and together with some loving self-talk I was able to move on and enjoy the rest of the day. This might sound strange but I do talk to myself on lots of occasions! It really does help.

8. Don't Allow Other People To Feel Sorry For You!
One of the things I learned to avoid was well meaning friends who assumed that I was going to be miserable spending Christmas on my own. It really didn't help feeling sorry for me. And I'm sure there are several people who used to feel unnecessarily guilty because they didn't invite me for Christmas. The truth is I would much rather spend Christmas on my own, in my own home, with my own things around me than be somewhere else where people felt sorry for me.

9. Create A Cosy Atmosphere

Later on in the day create a cosy atmosphere. Fairy lights can create a lovely warm and welcoming atmosphere along with lovely spicy scents. I used to get and decorate a Christmas Tree but if you are not into Christmas decorations then candles or a nice fire give off a lovely glow.

10. Things Change
You may have heard the phrase: This Too Shall Pass. You may be alone today but this could change. So take each Christmas Day as it comes.

If you do feel that things are just too overwhelming then here are some useful links for you:

Useful Links:

Samaritans - for confidential, non judgement emotional support rel=nofollow http://www.samaritans.org/

Befrienders Worldwide - for emotional support for people in distress rel=nofollow http://www.befrienders.org/

I invite you now to sign up for my newsletter at: http://janicerobertson.co.uk and connect with me here on twitter at: [http://twitter.com/Janicerobertson]http://twitter.com/Janicerobertson.

Janice Robertson is an experienced Life and Career Coach specialising in helping people to live happy, healthy and fulfilling lives.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Alone-at-Christmas?---10-Tips-to-Survive-(And-Even-Enjoy)-Being-on-Your-Own-at-Christmas&id=3368902] Alone at Christmas? - 10 Tips to Survive (And Even Enjoy) Being on Your Own at Christmas

Is Compatibility important in a relationship?

Compatibility is defined as “capable of existing or living together in harmony” in the dictionary. Believe or not, compatibility is one of the major reasons why couples stay together for a long time or separate. Compatibility test has been used in traditional matchmaking and is currently widely used as a tool to finding love in online dating service.

I do believe that compatibility is important in a relationship. Being compatible means sharing the same values and attitudes of life. For example, you loved to have kids but would you be with someone who disliked children? Other compatible issues includes attitude to work, attitudes to families and attitudes to sharing.

Traditionally in many countries, compatibility testing were carried out by parents looking for the right spouse for their children. The compatibility testing then would be based on the compatibility of the both family social class, wealth and educational level. Though it may seems shallow and unrealistic, it was the core of most families in the past.

In the online dating scene, the online dating service will usually matched you to people based on your compatibility test questions.

So what is compatibility testing?

1. There are many types of compatibility test. One common test is astrology compatibility test.

Here, compatibility of two persons is derived from the astrological make up of the two individuals. It predicts how two people will get along in various aspects of their lives such as financial, home and sex.

2. Other types of compatibility tests are based on a list of questions. This question usually refers to attitudes, lifestyle and beliefs. Some of the common questions cover are:

• 
  Educational qualification
  Occupation
  Income compatibility
  Class compatibility in some society
  Attitude towards children
  Attitude towards parents
  Attitude towards the opposite sex
  Attitude towards family
  Attitude towards religion
  Their religious belief, sexual beliefs and political viewpoints.
  Attitude on romance

3. Compatibility tests test allows you to learn more about yourself. The compatibility test questions could help bring light on what your thoughts are about certain things.

4. Compatibility test is the first step in finding love. Compatibility test reduced time taken to find the right person as it helps to filter the incompatible ones.

5. Compatibility test can also help reduce potential heartbreak.

6. When you find someone who is compatible, conversation usually flows easily.

Compatibility test is not the only solution to finding love online, honesty to yourself and others is also important for a lasting love relationship.


In Michael Webb, 1000 questions for couples, he address that the possibilities of couple spilting up is sometimes due to not finding more about each other before they walk down the aisle. Perhaps it hadn't occur to them to ask big questions that could enable them to understand the each other better.

In 1000 questions for couples, the author put together 1,000 of the most important questions couples should ask each other. These are questions that go beyond small talk and simply making conversation like you will find in most "questions" books. You will NOT find questions like "if you were a color, what color would you be" or "what is your most embarrassing moment".

There are hundreds of fun "getting to know you" questions but there are also important questions that most people don't even think of asking but are absolutely necessary if you want to have a happy relationship.

You can find out more about the essential questions to lasting relationship in 1000 questions for couples

Common online dating mistake to avoid

Sometimes, in our eagerness to find our soul mate, that special someone, life partner, we could do the right things and sadly we could also do a lot of things wrong. Things that could take away your self confidence, failure in your pursuit for happiness and ultimately a broken heart.

The dating world is different from the working world, aggression, demand for perfection and lies could be detrimental to your success in finding a life partner. Aggression is not attractive and it could make you look unattractive and even scary to the other person.

There is no need to show aggression or be aggressive, showing confidence exude maturity and sensibility to the other party. Of course, one should not be over confident to the point of being arrogant and obnoxious. In the game of online dating, pushing too hard for a face to face meet up could come across as being too aggressive. Confidence and respecting the other person not only make you seems considerate and look attractive, you also get the respect from the person. Take your time to enjoy the online communication till both of you establish a common desire to take the next step, that is, a date.

When you join an online dating site, enter with an open mind. Do not expect perfection as nobody is perfect. Keep in mind that the people you will come across come from different background, different culture, habits and attitudes. What you see as an imperfection may not be an imperfection for the other person. There will always be flaws, you have to deal with them, and you can decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Honesty is the best policy. Be honest when you write your profile, you can write an interesting profile without lying. Remember when you like false things about yourself, the lie will catch up and the truth will eventually come out. Imagine what will happen when you finally meet your ideal match and your lies could destroy everything.

You can have an enjoyable online dating experience and it is possible to find that soul mate and life partner. Don’t do anything to destroy the potential happiness you could have, remember, and stay away from aggression, lies and be prepared to expect imperfections.

Magic of making up.

Magic of Making Up case study video:

Wish you could get back with your Ex but do not know how to do so.

Wish you could get back with your Ex but do not know how to do so. You have tried contact your Ex but you don’t seem to get any headway; the answering machine seems to be your only source of contact.

Here are some secrets that could make your Ex return your call.
Think about it, are there 'magic' words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls? Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex felt almost compelled to return your call.

It’s true!

In the Magic of Making Up, there is a complete strategy on how you can get your ex to return your call.
Here are some tips from the book:
What NOT to Say!
Before we get into the actual words, let's go over what message almost NEVER works and it puts you in an AWFUL 'psychological' position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.
• The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like
"John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."
• The EMERGENCY-
"Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this."
Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches?

Use Curiosity & Self Interest to Your Advantage

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are
• Curiosity
• Self Interest

And here's the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work 'magic' let’s look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone:
"Hi John. It's Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person."
Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?
John will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?" "What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now, before you call you need to do the "Set Up"...which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate. It can be any small thing but it needs to be plausible.
Have an underlying strategy. .....The Magic of Making Up system outline a strategy that would help you make that successful call. If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and when they call back, you can do more damage if you do not handle it correctly.

What I am saying is..What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.
Remember, if it means so much to you.....
Have a PLAN

5 Dating Mistakes That Men Make With Women

Great women are hard to find. So when you do find one, don’t ruin your chances by making these deadly mistakes. Remember, attractive women have dated a lot of men so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong.

Here are 5 things that many men do that blow their chances with their girlfriend,
and how to avoid them.
Mistake #1: Sharing your feelings with her too early

When you announce that you love her, you lose the mystery, the magic and the chase. Remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual. Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything
further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you either. Falling in love is a process that happens
outside the conscious mind.
Mistake #2: Trying to push it too far too soon

It’s natural to wonder about your future together but remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. Just because you like a particular girl doesn’t mean you should rush things any faster than they should naturally progress. Think about your friends and how the natural progress of friendship happens. Rarely do you meet someone and feel eager to become best buddies over night. As a general rule: slower is better.

Mistake #3: Being too available

You might think “saying you’re busy” is playing a mind game or being manipulative. Well let me tell you something: everything you do is manipulation. We always act a certain way to try and achieve a certain outcome. The best way to come across naturally is to ACTUALLY BE BUSY. Get involved in life and don’t make your new girlfriend the center of your attention.This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the girl of your dreams and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery. Remember that
your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for her, no matter
how much you like her. And remember, women love a challenge and mystery, so
this actually works in your favor.

Mistake #4: Not being yourself / Seeking approval

Women love confident men with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately,
guys often try to guess how the woman wants them to act and try to accommodate
her mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. Be
comfortable being you. Showing that you’re not scared to be yourself is
very attractive and very refreshing for others.

Mistake #5: Buying gifts

While buying gifts “looks” like a nice gesture, the underlying
message is, “I want you to like me, so here’s this expensive thing.”
Don’t do it. Gifts are for couples in long term relationships. Buying
them too early can have the opposite effect to what you want.

So there you have it. The 5 big mistakes that guys make while they’re
dating women. Avoid these mistakes and you’ll dramatically increase the
chances of succeeding with her.

About the Author:

Michael Webb's latest book, "Getting Her Back… For Good" provides
you with a step-by-step plan to help heal relationships, prevent a breakup and
how to get her back if she dumps you. For all the details, visit the how
to win her back website.